Walking Daddy Home: The Unexpected

For as long as my Daddy had cancer, I was always fearful of one thing:

the phone call

The first one came November 14, 2008. It was from my Mom.

"Sweetie, your Daddy had a seizure at work. He's fine now, but we're at the hospital with him and they are running some tests."

Unexpected.

The next one came on November 16.

"Sweetie, there's a mass on his brain and on his kidney. They don't know what it is but they are going to remove the one on the brain tomorrow."

Unexpected.

The next one, November 22.

"Sweetie, it was malignant. They think they removed it all but it means the mass on his kidney is malignant, too. They'll be removing that one as soon as they can, probably in a few weeks."

Unexpected.

And just a few months after that...

"Sweetie, the spots on his lungs have grown so it's not scar tissue after all. We're going to get in touch with M.D. Anderson and find a doctor there."

Unexpected.

And for the next five years, it was the phone call that my Mom would make after an oncologist visit at M.D. Anderson. We typically had 3-4 months between visits for the last five years, but every time my stomach would be in knots for what words would be waiting on the other end of the line. More often than not, it was good news of a stable or shrinking disease. Other times, it wasn't so good. I remember the first time it wasn't good. I was driving back to work after my lunch break and had to pull the car over. I ended up not even going back to work that day. It was all so scary. It was unpredictable. It was unexpected.

And as the disease progressed, in the back of my mind, I was always afraid of "that" phone call. The phone call that would tell me it's time to come home. And up until a month ago, I thought that phone call was years away. Turns out it wasn't.

Unexpected.

But thanks to God's mercies, that phone call never had to be made.

Grace allowed me to be there in person to hear it for myself.

Grace spared me from "that phone call."

Grace allowed me to be there with and for my family.

Grace allowed me to help take care of my Daddy in his final days on earth.

Grace allowed me to walk him home.

Unexpected.

And through all of these unexpected moments, I am reminded that they were only surprises to us. Through all of them, the Lord was there. He was there before they happened, he was there during each and every one, and he continues to be there now. Though it doesn't make sense and it hurts beyond any pain I have ever known, he is faithful. In whatever season I am in - seasons of rejoicing, anger, desperation, grief, doubt, hopelessness - he is there. His love is faithful and endures forever.

He remembered us in our weakness.

His faithful love endures forever.

He saved us from our enemies.

His faithful love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of heaven.

His faithful love endures forever.

Psalm 136: 23, 24, 26

love,
alissa